


A Different Person Then

by Eff_Dragonkiller



Series: Impossible Things [4]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Discord: Malec Server, Discussion of Canon Adultery, Fraywood Brotp, Gen, M/M, Shadowhunter Culture & Customs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-08
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29921583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eff_Dragonkiller/pseuds/Eff_Dragonkiller
Summary: "How can I help you, Mother?""You need to get married."
Relationships: Alec Lightwood & Isabelle Lightwood, Alec Lightwood & Maryse Lightwood, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Impossible Things [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098536
Comments: 14
Kudos: 129





	A Different Person Then

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my lovely betas _Lyss_ and _Kai_.

"Isaiah, are you here?" Clary asked as she popped her head through the training room doors. She gave it a moment and started to scoot backwards, "Well, if he's not here..."

"You're not getting out of practice that easily, Fray." The man said from behind her. Hands on her shoulders, directing her into the training room. "Now, stretch and tell me about the first principle of nephilim combat."

"My life is not my own. It belongs to the service of Raziel's Mission." Clary recited dutifully.

"And the second?"

"Fealty to my Commander, on and off the battlefield, is my shield against the armies of hell."

The third principle was an assertion that the law of the Shadow World was hard, but it existed to protect humanity from demons and the Shadow World from humanity. The fourth was about how loyalty to the Clave was what separated the nephilim from the demon-blooded.

"What does that mean, Isaiah?" Clary asked as the man shifted her foot a little further back and straightened her shoulders. "When it says 'demon-blooded'?"

"It's talking about downworlders." The gruff man replied, "Werewolves, warlocks, vampires, and the fae were all created with demon blood. Warlocks are the children of demons, often the result of rape. Werewolves and Vampires are both technically curses called from spilled demon blood. And the Fae were created with both angelic and demonic ancestry, it shouldn't have worked." Isaiah snorted, "But what do I know? I'm just a soldier."

"We're all just soldiers," Clary smirked. "So there's nothing 'just' about you."

Isaiah quirked the corner of his mouth in a small smile and Clary decided to count it as a win. She returned to her practice, shifting the hilt of her dagger in her hand getting used to the slim profile. Each repetition of the sword forms made her stronger, faster, and better able to protect herself.

Alec had been firm that there was no way for her to get out of weapons practice. Not unless she wanted to be shoved through a portal into a snowbank and made to walk into Alicante cold and wet, never to return to the mundane world.

Which, of course, she did not want.

"You're doing well, Fray." Her instructor said, stepping back to observe her form. "We're going to need to start drafting bodies to help with your training soon."

"Oh, please not the kids." Clary begged, dropping out of her stance. "I would never survive the embarrassment."

Isaiah grimaced, "I'm not sure I'd trust their control. Whoever you train with needs to be good enough to be able to hold back. You need a challenge not a death threat."

"I have enough of those, thanks." Clary grumbled as he nudged her back into proper form. Her arms trembled with the effort and her thighs burned, she didn't know how long she'd be able to continue. Who knew standing still required so much effort?

The door to the training room slammed against the wall with a crash. Clary lost her concentration. Her foot slipped and suddenly she was on the ground.

"Ow."

Isaiah snorted, "Perhaps we need to do more falling exercises."

Clary groaned. She still had bruises from yesterday.

The Shadowhunter that entered snorted rudely and Clary peeked up to see who it was. She'd been serious about those kids. They might have been called trainees but Clary thought they were vicious. It was just Jace-the-creeper, though. Clary wrinkled her nose. She didn't know anyone else in the Institute with such a bad attitude.

"Come on," Isaiah nudged her with his foot. "We can finish practice by stretching and Enochian."

Clary sighed. She really didn't want to move, but Isaiah wouldn't argue with her if she didn't. He'd just leave her. Clary hadn't needed it to happen more than once to know that she really needed to stretch.

"Ugh."

Isaiah snorted. Watching her with mild amusement as she crawled across the floor. "Start with your hamstrings; does Enochian have a written language?"

"Yes, but no." Clary said reaching for her toes, the pull burnt. "There's no evidence the angels use a written text. Nephilim created the runic language over hundreds of years. Learning what runes were sacred and which could be used casually. While all the Enochian runes have power, some are too powerful for paper and pen."

"Good." Isaiah pressed his hands to her back and forced her to stretch further, ignoring her whine of pain. "Now, what is the first letter?"

 _Elohn_ was a thrumming sound made in the throat and like most of Enochian it was impossible for a mundane to make. It required nephilim grace to rise up to the throat to access the secondary vocal cords. It was a sound made in both physical and metaphysical realms.

It took Clary a few tries to get it right and the sound that resulted was weak and warbling. Nothing like the steady thrum she'd heard in her instructors' voices.

"Have you been practicing?" Isaiah asked as he moved her on to the next stretch, pushing her body far past what high school anatomy said should be possible. "It was a good try, but-"

"A good try?" Jace-the-creeper snorted, "that was nowhere near a 'good try'. That was pathetic. Like something was dying!"

A hot flush rose to Clary's cheeks, "I'm trying!"

"You’re doing well," Isaiah reassured her, "For less than a week, your improvement is fantastic."

"It's ridiculous." Jace sneered, "You've never killed a demon, didn't even finish the training round, and your Enochian is pathetic. That's supposed to be innate. What's wrong with you, that you can't even get that right?"

"Weyland," Isaiah barked, pointing at the door, "get out."

The blond sneered, but Clary had moved on from embarassed to furious and she wasn't going to let him get away with that so easily. She darted around her instructor right into Jace's path.

"What's your problem?" She glared up at the man, "I wasn't raised as a Shadowhunter. Didn't even know I was nephilim until I met Alec, and it's not like that's a secret. You'd have to be the most oblivious Shadowhunter in the Institute to have missed that. So this," she waved a hand at the hot mess that was Jace's entire self, "can't actually be about me."

She considered the situation, "What's your problem with Alec?"

Jace snarled, a rough feral sound that echoed in the room and her bones. Clary scowled back. It might have been stupid, Jace Weyland was supposed to be one of the best combat-ready Shadowhunters in the Institute, but Clary wasn't afraid.

"He's my parabatai, part of my soul, but you walked in the door and everything changed! It's all your fault!" Jace's hand tightened on his sword and out of the corner of her eye, Clary saw Isaiah move in closer. "And you're not worth any of it."

The words stung. Not because Clary cared what Jace thought, but because she knew on some level he was right. Alec was putting in a lot of effort to train and protect her, and sometimes she wondered if she was worth it.

Not that she was going to admit that to this fool.

Clary glared up at Jace, "Is it because of me? Or because Alec just got tired of dragging along your dead weight?"

"I'm the best fucking soldier in this damn Institute!"

"There's more to serving the Institute than killing demons. Even I know that."

****

His phone vibrated against his hand and Alec checked it reflexively. It was from Magnus, _Drinks tonight?_

Alec considered the mound of paperwork on the corner of his desk and the Head of Intelligence across the desk from him. _Probably not, sorry. Maybe Sunday?_

"This is all verified?"

"Unfortunately." Bridger frowned, "It wasn't even that difficult to find. The trial records weren't sealed. The investigative work was shoddy but there were enough pieces to get a general account of the Lightwoods behavior during the Uprising. The only way to be sure, of course, is to either question them or their victims."

"That’s not an option, right now." Alec said after some thought. "They were charged for the deaths of the Whitelaws, correct?"

Ella hummed, paging through the documents. "Murder of the Whitelaws and inciting violence among the Shadow World. It got them a lifetime of service in the New York Institute."

"They were hoping for an accident. The Clave couldn't order the deruning or execution of a founding family for what most would say was a minor thing. So they did the next best thing and ordered them to serve in the same Institute as their victims." Alec mused out loud. "So, why wasn't there an accident? Robert and Maryse are... well, I can't say I would have blamed anyone for it."

"I don't know." Ella shook her head, "You'd have to ask Isaiah. He's the last one still around from then. Well, except for you."

"Right." Alec said faintly. His mind still lost in the revelation of his parents’ sins. Sins he would have to add a hundred times the weight to, because Angel knew the Clave hadn't cared to accurately count the number of Downworlder dead.

The intercom buzzed, "Boss, your next meeting is waiting."

"Thank you, Alessio." He stood with Ella and escorted her to the door.

"What would you like me to do, sir?"

"Explore our options." Alec said, "I'd like to know what all of them are."

"Of course, sir." Ella said as she walked out.

His next meeting was with Izzy, so there was a moment when Bridger and his sister had to pass each other as they exchanged places. The temperature practically plummeted at the look they exchanged. His Head of Intelligence didn't need six inch stilettos to look down at Izzy, she just sniffed and continued on her way. It was both incredibly amusing and deeply concerning at the same time.

"What was that about?"

Izzy huffed, flipping her hair over shoulder as she settled down into the visitor's seat. "Bridger puts on a good face, but she's one of those stodgy old traditional types. Doesn't like my 'comportment'. Says my decision to not follow nephilim traditions puts you in a bad place."

Alec leaned back into his chair to consider that. He'd practically raised his younger siblings, he didn't regret it. He couldn't regret it. Not when it hadn't taken Max's teachers and supervisors three months to realize that the only way to get a response to their notes was to send them to Alec.

But sometimes he has to admit, he didn't know what he'd been doing. Love, affection, and support were all excellent ways to raise a child. They weren't how the Clave wanted Shadowhunters raised.

Alec had always found a security in their culture and traditions. It made him feel safe. But Izzy, and later Jace, had chafed at the restrictions. So, Alec had given Izzy and Jace the freedom to discover who they were outside of nephilim traditions. He hadn't realized it wouldn't just be their parents or the Clave who'd be put off their more mundane behavior.

Instead, every single nephilim Jace and Izzy met would judge them by the lack of braid and lack of beads before they'd even find out about the obsession with mundane culture and the way they seemed to be having a challenge over who could sleep with the most downworlders. Alec had screwed up with them, he admitted it. It was why he was vigilant over Max's education. He loved Izzy and Jace. Would always try to support and protect them, but with everything going on in the Institute and with Clary he didn't have time to coddle them anymore.

Alec shrugged, Ella wasn't necessarily wrong. Izzy and Jace behavior regularly put him in a bad spot with the more traditionalist clave members. "What did you want to discuss?"

Izzy frowned at him, "That's it. That's all you have to say? Just a shrug?"

"What do you want me to say?"

"You should be defending me against that shrew!"

"Hey!" Alec leaned across the desk, "Let's get this clear, right now. Ella Bridger is a valued and important member of my command team. Don't talk about her like that." He held up a hand when she went to speak, "Moreover, Izzy, she's not wrong. I gave you an unprecedented amount of freedom for a Shadowhunter and you've gone above and beyond in bringing value back to the Institute for it. But that doesn't mean your actions don't have consequences."

He settled back into his seat as his sister slouched with a pout. "Now, you had something you wanted to talk about?"

Izzy huffed and offered him a thumbdrive, "I'm pretty sure Stormvale is committing fraud. I've been going over the inventory for the medical wing several times. He's buying supplies on a regular basis, but some of it just never gets to the shelves. The amount isn't significant; it wouldn't be flagged for negligence, but I'm concerned because I can't figure out where it's going."

Alec took a deep breath and then a second. "Have you brought this up to Bridger or Lutkivik?"

Izzy frowned, "Why would I?"

"This is literally their job, Izzy." Alec huffed. "I appreciate that you let me know, especially because I've been worried you haven't been around, but investigations like this are basically the entire reason we have both Intelligence and Investigations departments at the NYI."

Izzy frowned, "Can you-"

"Yes. I can tell them myself." Alec made sure Izzy was paying attention to what came next, though. "But, Izzy, you're the primary witness to this issue. They're going to have to question you."

She whined.

He scowled, "You will be polite, helpful, and thorough. If you think they missed something important, you will share it with them. This is about more than your petty disagreements with the traditionalists. Fraud is likely the least of Stormvale's crimes. Don't dismiss this out of arrogance, Izzy."

"I won't, hermano. I promise."

The intercom buzzed twice as his mother strode through the door, a storm cloud brewing on her face. For the first time that Alec had ever seen, the gold ribbon Maryse Lightwood wore for her marriage was not woven through her braid. "Alexander, I need to speak with you."

"Of course, Mother."

"I'll see you later, Alec." Izzy said as she left. She paused just barely beside their mother but the woman didn't even glance her way and Izzy left with that stubbornly straight back that meant she was avoiding slumping.

Alec wondered, not for the first time, how an educated woman with Maryse Lightwood's advanced training could possibly be as devastating to the Institute as she was. At least if it was intentional, Alec could grant her some cunning. But by all accounts, she didn't even notice the damage she did to morale.

"How can I help you, Mother?"

"You need to get married." She pulled out a tablet and forwarded him the files she was looking at. The public personnel records of about a dozen of the most eligible female nephilim in Idris. "I've put together some profiles but I'm willing to work with you on what you'd like. Within reason, of course."

"Of course." Alec said faintly, staring down at the list of names. The list of names that he was supposed to pick his spouse from. The list of names that were made of entirely the wrong gender.

"I started the list with politics in mind." Maryse admitted, "I wasn't sure what your physical preferences were."

Alec considered the future he could see unfolding before him. A proper nephilim wife to help him as co-head. A child or two for the family name--there had to be magic for that, as revolting as the idea was--and then eventually leaving the Institute for a political position in Idris. It was all very proper and traditional. Conveniently so.

"Why now?" He asked as he moved from his desk to stand at the window behind it. "You've barely mentioned marriage in years, what changed?"

He couldn't see her eyes or the tremble of her hands but in the bevel of the antique glass her reflection practically slumped.

"Robert is setting me aside." The woman said quietly, "Without his name I'll be... stuck. Stuck in Idris, without a name, connections, or money."

Traditionally a wife was only set aside for adultery and infertility, both of which would shame his mother simply by association. "You've produced three strong Nephilim, he can't claim you're barren. Did he catch you with someone?"

She flinched and shook her head, "He's been having an affair with Annamarie Highsmith. She's the niece of the Consul and well, he's promised Robert a position in his cabinet in return for the marriage."

"That's quite the dowry." Intangible as it was, Alec had no doubts that the Consul would follow through. He had raised his sister's daughter after her death and it was well known how much he loved her. "Regardless, you'd still be due his consideration for the three children you've given him."

Maryse blew out a heavy breath, "I think he plans to disown you and Isabelle. She goes out of her way to ignore our traditions and to act as contrary as possible. She's highly educated and trained and completely unappealing as a wife." She shrugged, "I heard from Elizabeth Rowan in Records that Highsmith is already preparing the paperwork to adopt Max. His records will go down as the first Highsmith-Lightwood and you and Isabelle will be disowned."

Highsmith couldn't plan to keep Max as her eldest child. No, there'd be some sort of plan in place that he'd be set aside in the running for head of the family due to some sort of trumped up personality flaw. It was infuriating. Alec could care less about his family name. It might make it a little more difficult to ascend as head of the NYI as one of the Angelborn--the orphan nephilim without family names--but no one knew this institute as well as he did; he could still make it work. And Isabelle, he knew, literally couldn't care less about their family name or history. Though, she'd be in for a rude awakening as to how often her name cut her slack that just didn't exist for other Shadowhunters.

But the truly galling thing was how incredibly damaging this would end up for his brother. To make him heir to the family name with no intention of following through, people would assume there was something wrong with Max. After the news came out, Max would be watched. He'd never truly be safe from their father's second spouse, and the damage would take a lifetime to heal.

That was simply unacceptable.

He settled back behind his desk to find that his mother had been silently crying while he thought. She stared straight ahead as the tears leaked from her eyes. An unused wad of tissues in her hand.

"Mother?"

She blinked and came back to herself, gaze a little lost though as she met his eyes. "I did everything he wanted. I loved him. Followed his will. Never complained about how dirty I felt being... being..."

"Circle." Alec sat back, "You didn't join for yourself?"

She shook her head and then shrugged, "I didn't care. I still don't care about Downworlders. But the Circle did more than harass the demon-blooded."

"I know. You and Robert were instrumental in the deaths of the Whitelaws."

"Robert didn't care. He walked in here like we'd been given a reward, never once even considering that this was just a delayed execution." She wiped at her eyes. "I kept you with me all the time. Robert would just hand you off to someone and walk away, but it would have killed me to lose you and I wasn't certain Whitelaw's Institute would care that you were innocent."

"But they did."

"They did. I have to believe that they never followed through on whatever punishment they had in mind because of you."

"And now you want me to save you, again." Alec said neutrally. "You want me to marry and maybe even have a child on the way before the divorce proceeding ends. If I produce a child then you can argue that I've done my duty to continue the Lightwood line, and Robert would be forced to provide for you."

"Yes."

Alec considered the issue and the woman across the table from him. There had been a point when he was young that the only thing he'd ever wanted was his parent's love and attention. These same circumstances years ago and Alec would have jumped to do her bidding. He wouldn't have cared about the sacrifice required; he'd never cared about what he'd had to sacrifice for his family.

It made him wonder a little, when things had changed, because looking across the desk all he saw was the woman who birthed him. And she wasn't family.

"No."

"Alec?" Her voice trembled.

"I'm not getting married." Alec said neutrally. If, in the back of his mind, there was a flashing set of brown eyes framed by potent blue magic that sent a spike of heat straight to his groin to remind him of his options; well, no one had to know but him. "I'm not attracted to women at all, and honestly the idea of marrying for political power makes me sick. I want to marry for love and you're not going to stop me."

Maryse's mouth worked for a minute without voicing anything, before finally blurting. "You'll be disowned!"

"Probably." Alec shrugged, "but it'll take a lot to move me from this Institute even as an Acting Head."

"The Lightwood name is-"

"Not something I'm going to miss." He titled his head to consider how she couldn't know it. But then his mother had always been good at ignoring the obvious. "You've harassed me, Izzy, even Jace and Max, for years about the state of the Lightwood name. I won't be sorry at all to see the back of it." He buzzed his secretary over the intercom and Alessio opened the door with a frown. "Now I think it's time for you to go, Maryse. It sounds like you have a lot of preparations to make."

As Alessio escorted Maryse from his office, Alec tapped open his conversation with Magnus. _Actually, I suddenly have some free time. How do you feel about coffee?_

_It’s my lifeblood, Alexander. I can’t wait. 3pm?_

_Perfect._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not thrilled with this, but I've been super sick and I just had no patience to continue to sit on it. So, I hope the worldbuilding was at least fun.


End file.
